Whispers of Suicide
by HesMyLullaby
Summary: Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but soon finds herself being dragged down with him...r
1. Tourniquet

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts   
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
***I tried to kill the pain  
  
But only brought more.  
  
I lay dying.  
  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.  
  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming...  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?***  
  
"Draco- NO!" Draco slid the blade across his wrist, blood blossoming from it's trail. "Draco!" Pansy screamed, feeling faint. "Just leave me the fuck alone!" Draco yelled, watching her face go pale. "I want to fucking die!" Pansy's knees shook as she ran to his side, reaching for the blade. He pulled it away from her reach, holdoing it to his throat. "Back the hell off, Pansy." He yelled, pushing her away with his free hand. Her knees buckled from his strength and she fell to the floor, watching him in horror. "Don't do this, please!" "What's it worth?!" He yelled, ignoring the fear in her gaze. His face was going pale as the blood poured from his wrist, a puddle forming on the floor. He suddenly collapsed, unconscious.....  
  
**  
  
Draco examined the scars on his wrists as he sat in double potions, ignoring the droning voice of Professor Snape. He traced one with his finger, memories tearing at his insides. His mind flashed back the thoughts- the yelling, the hurt, the bleeding.... He looked over and saw Pansy staring at him. She looked slowly away, pain in her eyes. He'd hurt her so much, pulling into his mess, forcing her to feel the pain he felt. He remembered the night he'd held the knife to HER throat, yelling at her to stay out of his life. The fear, the pain and the hurt inside her poured from her as she fell to the floor, holding her knees to her chest and sobbing. Draco had stood, not even believing himself for what he'd done.   
  
He looked back at his wrists. His eyes flashed, his vision fluttered. The scars grew a deep red, and began to drip with blood. His mind was faltering- hallucinating, reliving the night. He watched the blood drip down his arm, onto the floor. Hestood up, his chair pushing out behind him, screeching across the stone floor. Clutching his wrist, he ran from the room, the eyes of each student in the room following him. Snape stood silent in the front of the room. Pansy rose from her chair and ran after him, the dungeon door swinging shut behind her.  
  
**  
  
Pansy found Draco in the empty hallway, sitting on the floor, clutching his wrists, rocking gently back and forth. His black clothes, his pale face, his slivery blonde hair...the pain. She stopped about ten feet from him, watching the pain bleed from his eyes. "Draco." He didn't even look up at her, just kept on rocking, his knuckles growing whiter as he clutched his wrists harder and harder. "Draco stop this." Pansy stepped up beside him, kneeling down. She gently pulled his hands from his wrists, holding them. "Look at me." Draco looked up, his blue eyes knifing at her heart as she felt the pain in his gaze. "Don't let it hurt you," she whispered softly. "It's not gonna hurt you, I won't let it." He put his arms around her, and she fell into his embrace. "It's alright, I promise it will be, Dray. I promise."   
  
**  
  
Draco tossed a rock across the lake, watching it skip across the water, the magnificent sunlight bouncing off the sparkling surface. Pansy sat on the ground behind him, her nose stuffed in a book. He loved knowing she was there; knowing she would always be there. His life wasn't perfect- niether was hers. But she had been trying so hard to make it better for him, and he hated having no way to repay her but by pushing his own pain onto her. He looked back at her, the setting sunlight reflecting on her long black hair. Her eyebrows furrowed as she read, her expression looking serious and intrigued. He loved the way her eyes lit up when he handed her a new book, the way she would kiss him gently on the cheek, whispering a small 'thank you' into his ear. He loved everything about her- so how was he still living with knowing how much he was hurting her?  
  
~*~  
  
Bare with me, it gets way more interesting. I'll probably add chapter 2 by tonight if I get the chance. Tell me what you think so far....  
  
Song Credits:  
  
Evanescence- Tourniquet  
  
okay, luv you all....  
  
sara 


	2. Echoes of Silence, Be My Torture

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts  
  
  
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
...**Chapter 2**...  
  
((Echoed silence, I can hear it.  
  
Hush now, don't fret,  
  
Come now- you're my tourniquet.  
  
Hush now, don't fear,  
  
Don't scream precious I'm here.  
  
Let time, let it go,  
  
Let life, I'm letting it go.  
  
Can you feel the whispers?  
  
Do you have the answers I do not know?  
  
Don't scream precious-  
  
I'm here.))  
  
**  
  
"Don't you see it?" "See what?" "That star." "What's so good about a star?" "They tell stories, Dray. Just open your heart and listen." Draco snorted at her. "You're too much, Pans." Pansy nudged him with her arm. "You are so narrow-minded." "No, I'm just logical." Draco said, laying back on the grass and putting his hands behind his head. Pansy looked down at him and he laughed, pulling her down. She rested her head on his chest, relaxing in his hold. He stroked his hand up and down her back, looking up at the stars. "I hear them now."  
  
**  
  
((I can't stand it- watching him suffer. His mind is caving in on him- and soon it's going to collapse. I can't bear seeing him in such pain. All I want is for things to go back the way they were before all of this. I keep having flashbacks of that day, I keep seeing his face- the way I could see his heart in his eyes, and I could feel it breaking. I remember seeing his mother- laying there in that casket...seeing him cry for the first time. You would think his father would be a little more understanding, considering the fact his only son is falling into near insanity- but he doesn't even write him- just sends him money every week, with a short note, the usual "Spend it well. -Father" I always have to take the money from him, monitor what he buys with it, in fear he'll try and hurt himself again. I feel like I am being the closest thing to a mother he'll ever have. I only hope I can stay strong long enough to help him to help himself....))  
  
**  
  
***This world, this world is cold.  
  
But ya don't, you don't have to go.  
  
You feel inside, you feeling lonely,  
  
  
  
and no one seems to care.  
  
You're mother's gone and your father hates you,  
  
this pain you cannot bare.  
  
But we all bleed the same way as you do.  
  
And we all have the same things to go through...***  
  
((I keep on telling myself,  
  
what am I waiting for?  
  
I cowardly count down the minutes...  
  
Till my pain will be yours.  
  
Let me bleed,  
  
I wanna make you see.  
  
What you've done for me.  
  
Let me fall,  
  
just leave it all...  
  
behind.  
  
I'm begging you,  
  
I'm telling you-  
  
there's nothing more that you can do.  
  
But I can't let go of you....))  
  
**  
  
((New wounds I've found,  
  
bearing the burden of your pain.  
  
You've drawn yourself a portrait of it all,  
  
across your skin is where you go insane.  
  
Won't let me in,  
  
this time I'm gonna break through.  
  
I don't care how many secrets  
  
that I find in you.  
  
I'm gonna save you.))  
  
**  
  
((Don't scream, precious, I'm here....))  
  
~*~  
  
Its just so insane I can't even begin to explain it. I you review telling me that its confusing- good. I want it to be. It makes you look deeper into it to figure it out.  
  
::Song Credits;;  
  
Good Charlotte- Hold On  
  
I'll write more later....  
  
sara 


	3. Don't Scream Precious, I'm Here

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts  
  
  
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
*** _______ ***= song lyrics, read song credits at end of each chapter for song info  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
...**Chapter 3**...  
  
I can't let him do this to himself....not again...  
  
**  
  
Pansy walked into the Slytherin common room, expecting to see Draco sitting on the couch, writing in the same little black notebook he always had his nose in. But he was no where to be found, and she began to worry. He was always there when she got back from her study hall, waiting for her. Pansy peeked up into the boys' dormitory. "Crabbe? Goyle? Is Draco up there?" "Nope, sorry, Pans." Crabbe called back down the stairs to her. "I haven't seen him much today."  
  
Pansy ran from the room, hurdling down the stairs. She ran past classrooms, fright building up in her. One classroom was empty, the door shut and the light off. Pansy opened the door, peeking inside. Draco was laying on the floor, blood dripping from numerous cuts on his arms. A small blade shined on the floor beside him, and Pansy shut the door and kneeled down beside him, her expression one of exhaustion. She held up the blade in front of his eyes. "Why?"  
  
**  
  
Draco looked up at Pansy. He didn't know why. "This hurts me, Dray," Pansy said, tossing the blade into the trashcan. "You promised me you wouldn't do this anymore." Draco sat up, pulling his shirt sleeves down over his cuts. "You don't have to worry about me, Pans," he said softly. "I'm alright." "No, you aren't. You've got to stop doing this to yourself. I am trying to help you, Dray, you've got to learn to help yourself." Draco looked down at the floor. "You're right," he said, not looking up. "I do need you." Pansy stood up. "Now that you've figured that out," she said, pulling open the door. "All you've got to learn is that what you're doing is leading you no where. No one can teach you how to live your life but yourself. I can't help you there." Pansy left the room, leaving him alone in the dark room, the stillness of it all resembling the stillness of his empty soul.  
  
**  
  
((Am I the only one who sees the pain he does? Am I the only one who is trying, or even willing to help him? He's slipping- he's falling. I've held onto him so long- but soon he's gonna let go of me.))  
  
**  
  
((I'm off in a world all my own....  
  
Don't scream precious I'm here.))  
  
***In my field of paper flowers,  
  
and candy clouds of lullaby.  
  
I lie inside myself for hours.  
  
And watch my purple sky fly over me.***  
  
**  
  
((This is me- Pansy. The one who seems so perfectly content. This is me- the real Pansy. The one who's always screaming inside.))  
  
((Can't take you any further,  
  
this is where my strength runs out.  
  
It's your turn to figure out your future-  
  
If there is one...what the hell's all this pain about..?  
  
Can't you see I'm gettin deeper,  
  
deeper in this sea of yours.  
  
I'm swimming deeper and I'm dying.  
  
My soul can't take this shit no more....))  
  
**  
  
***You used to captivate me,  
  
by your resonating light.  
  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind.  
  
Your face haunts my once pleasent dreams,  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me...***  
  
~*~  
  
Let all those songs and poems sink in....  
  
::Song Credits::  
  
Evanescence- Imaginary  
  
Evanescence- My Immortal  
  
sara  
  
*** 


	4. I'm Giving Up On You

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts   
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
...**Chapter 4**...  
  
***Long lost words whisper slowly to me.  
  
Still can't find what keeps me here.  
  
When all of this time I've been so hollow inside.  
  
I know you're still there.***  
  
**  
  
Pansy sat alone in the common room, watching the fire. It was nearly 1:30 in the morning, and everyone had retreated to their dorms hours before. Draco appeared before her, a soft gaze in his eyes. He sat down beside her and she scooted close to him, laying her head down on him. He gently stroked her arm, the firelight dancing across his face. "I want it to all go away." She said, staring into the fire. Draco was silent. "I just want it to be you and me...without all of this hurt between us. I don't wanna let it break us apart." "It never will." Pansy lifted her head. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, Pans, I love you so-" "Just shut up and kiss me." Their lips met, and Draco wrapped his arms around her. Pansy withdrew, gazing into his crystal blue eyes. "I love you too."  
  
**  
  
((Save yourself, love,  
  
don't let me take you down.  
  
Don't let my pain become your own.  
  
there's nothing that can amount...  
  
to you.  
  
So take my hand,  
  
and let it go.  
  
Leaving you with just one thing,  
  
you need to know.  
  
You held my hand all through the dark,  
  
you love me despite my pain.  
  
I pray to you now,  
  
love me and not in vain.  
  
Love reaches across enternity,  
  
Let's see how far it can be.  
  
Just take my hand,  
  
and let it go.  
  
And don't scream, my precious...  
  
my love is here.))  
  
**  
  
Pansy stared at the little black notebook in the middle of the table. Should she read it? Temptation took her over and she took it in her hands, turning it over and over. It was worn, and the pages were yellowing. She flipped open the cover, fanning the pages through her fingers. They were filled- Draco's handwriting scribbled across the pages. She stopped somewhere in the middle, reading the page....  
  
((They have no idea-   
  
the jagged edges of my past  
  
coming back to cut me open-  
  
pull me open-  
  
to make assumptions.  
  
To help me is to kill me.  
  
So kill me, love, and help me die.  
  
I'd love you to hate me-   
  
to not feel a thing for me.  
  
But you're trapped up inside me,  
  
holding your mind-  
  
there's nothing free.  
  
I lay my head down  
  
on the satin silk of the night-  
  
falling through the dakrness-  
  
not even trying to win the fight.  
  
Moonlight wishes-  
  
you dance upon the night.  
  
Maddness encloses-  
  
nothing will ever be right.))  
  
......  
  
**  
  
Pansy shoved the book at Draco. "You left this downstairs." She said hastily, before turning on her heels and leaving. "Pansy, wait." Draco ran after her. "What's wrong?" Pansy whirled around. Pansy snatched the book back from him, flipping it open to a page. "I'm swimming in the sea of silk, her skin caressing mine. It means so much to her yet nothing in my heart. Her chest is heaving, the night enclosing, I'm diving into-" "Pans, look-" "You've never slept with ME, so I can only imagine who this is about!" "I can explain." "I don't wanna hear your excuses, Draco! I give up!" Draco stood, watching her as tears built up in her eyes. "Why do you insist on hiding this shit from me?!?" Pansy yelled. "Why the hell do you insist on putting yourself through all this misery? I realize now that there is no way to help you. I give up. You're not letting me in! Let me the fuck in, Dray! Maybe then you'll see what might become of you!" Tears bled from her eyes now. "You're killing yourself slowly and painfully. I just can't watch it anymore! There's nothing I can do but watch you die!" Pansy ran down the empty corridor, sobbing.   
  
**  
  
Draco ripped the pages from the book, tearing them each to shreds. He furiously tossed the remaining pages into the fire, collapsing into one of the oversized chairs in front of it. The fire reflected in his eyes as he watched his words of pain and hurt burn in the fire- feeling himself as he was freed of it all. He pulled the small blade from his pocket, examining it. He pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill- and wrote this...  
  
"If you can't stand to see me in pain-  
  
I'll let you out of your misery then.  
  
I'm leaving you- letting you forget.  
  
Just forget."  
  
***I tried to kill the pain  
  
But only brought more.  
  
I lay dying.  
  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.  
  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming...  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?***  
  
~*~  
  
Once again, let it sink in.  
  
I think life is turning back into an endless shit hole for me, either that or the fact that I am totally utterly alone is finally sinking in.....  
  
::Song Credits::  
  
Evanescence- Haunted  
  
Evanescence- Tourniquet  
  
God help us all....  
  
sara  
  
*** 


	5. I Won't Let You Pull Me Down

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts   
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
...**Chapter 5**...  
  
***Rain clouds come to play  
  
again.  
  
Has no one told you she's not breathing?  
  
Hello, I'm your mind-   
  
giving you someone to talk to.  
  
Hello.***  
  
((Why she chose me- I do not know. Why she still holds on to me even as I fall faster and faster, deeper and deeper- I do not know. Pansy- her fragile soul and mind are caving in- and yet what do I do? I keep on hurting her. How does she still love me?))  
  
**  
  
"I can't take this anymore!" Pansy screamed, throwing another one of Draco's blades to the floor. "Do you realize the you are putting me through every time you do this shit?!" "I can't help it!" Draco yelled back. "I can't stop!" "Bull shit! How in the fucking world can you not stop yourself from tearing yourself to shreds?!" "You have no idea what it feels like to watch your entire life crumble before your eyes, Pansy!" Draco yelled, putting his hands out in defense. "All of your hope- love- just falls down. Have you ever felt that kind of pain?!?!" "Yes," Pansy said, glaring at him. "I see it everyday." Draco swallowed. "I see it every time I look into your eyes." Pansy stormed away, tears streaming down her plae cheeks.   
  
**  
  
"Pansy- look at me." Pansy ignored his words, casually packing up her books. The classroom slowly emptied out, and Pansy followed, ignoring him still. "Pansy, please. We need to talk." "What is there to say?" "I'm sorry." "You're sorry, huh?" Pansy said, glaring at him. "Sorry for what, exactly? Sorry for destroying yourself? Sorry for not even trying to save yourself? Or sorry for not even acknowledging everything I have tried to do for you?!?" Draco stood silent. He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm just sorry." "Well, Draco, I'm afraid that's not gonna work this time. I've forgiven you one too many times- this is where I draw the line." Pansy walked out of the room- leaving him alone.  
  
**  
  
((Red tears fall across my skin-  
  
bleeding all the pain that lies within.  
  
I'm living in a nightmare,  
  
no one here to wake me up,  
  
no one here who cares.  
  
The one I loved, the one I cherish-  
  
our hearts torn, our love thrown to perish.  
  
My precious....she screams.))  
  
**  
  
***Wake me up inside, wake me up inside.  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark.  
  
Bid my blood to run, before I come undone.  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become...  
  
Now That I know what I'm without,  
  
you can't just leave me.  
  
Breathe into me and make me real,  
  
Bring me to life....  
  
....  
  
Frozen in time,   
  
without your touch, without your love.  
  
Darling, only you are the life....  
  
among the dead.***  
  
**  
  
Draco stared across the room at Millicent Bulstrode. He remembered the poem Pansy had found- describing the night he'd had- with her. Millie was a beautiful girl, one of the most popular Slytherins now taking Pansy's place as she slipped away from her social life- for him. Pansy hadn't shown up for class today. Draco was worried, but his thoughts dwindled away as he stared at Millie. Her long, brown hair, the blonde highlights in it reflecting in the sunlight from the sky windows. She smiled at him with a wink. *Meet me after class* he mouthed to her, and she nodded, giving him a sly grin.  
  
**  
  
Draco wrapped his arms around Millie, their lips meeting. He could taste her cherry lip gloss, bringing back memories of that night. He laid her across the table, making sure the door was shut. She pulled his cloak off, still kissing him.....  
  
"Tell me you love me," Millie said, through heaving breaths. "What?" "Just say it, for me."......."I love you."  
  
Draco buttoned his shirt back up, slipping his shoes back on. Millie was smoothing out her skirt and reapplying her lips gloss, refraining from buttoning her shirt up all the way, her green and silver Slytherin tie tied lossely around her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. "I'll see you." She said before giving him a quick smile and leaving the room.   
  
**  
  
Pansy watched in horror as Millicent Bulstrode exited the empty classroom, her shirt untucked, her shirt only buttoned halfway. What a slut. Pansy's heart ripped in two as she saw Draco exit behind her, securing his belt.   
  
**  
  
***Watching me, wanting me.  
  
I can feel you pull me down.  
  
Fearing you, loving you.  
  
I won't let you pull me down.***  
  
~*~  
  
What's up with this quickie with Millie?!?! I confuse MYSELF sometimes....   
  
It's getting better? REVIEWS.  
  
Yay- I have a "fan"....  
  
::Song Credits::  
  
Evanescence- Hello  
  
Evanescence- Bring Me To Life  
  
Evanescence- Haunted  
  
sara 


	6. You're Going Down With Me

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts   
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
...**Chapter 6**...  
  
You try to defeat me. Why must you push away my love? You're killing yourself slowly- pulling me with you. I only have one thing to say. If you won't help yourself- I won't help you. So you can just go fucking die.  
  
Pansy stared into the fireplace, the flames reflecting in her tired eyes. Draco appeared in the doorway to the boys' dormitory, his expression filled with sorrow. "Pansy..." He breathed. "Help."  
  
**  
  
-THE DAILY PROPHET-  
  
On the eve of December 12, Mr. Lucius Malfoy was found brutally murdered in his home in Effingham, Surrey. Mr. Malfoy worked for the Ministry, and investigators believe the killer may have been from somewhere inside the Ministry. Though few suspects have been pointed out, Mr. Malfoy had many enemies that will be investigated. Mr. Malfoy was 45, and left behind a son, Draco, 16. His wife, Narcissa Malfoy, died in April of this year. The wake will be held tomorrow night, 7-8pm at Mr. Malfoy's home in Effingham, followed by his funeral services on Saturday morning.  
  
**  
  
Left alone now, in the darkness of your unlived life. And now, I hate you.  
  
**  
  
Pansy sobbed into Draco's arm, muffling her cries into his sleeve. He gently stroked her arm, staring straight ahead at the casket. It was closed, due to the magnitude of his father's injuries. Draco was locked up in his mind, not feeling any pain except for that for Pansy. His father had been almost a father to her once hers had died years before. Mr. Parkinson had abused her, and Pansy would run to Lucius when she needed someone to give her shelter and care. Lucius wasn't known for his kindness, which he kept in the secret of his home. Draco listened as they read to the huge crowd about his life, hearing his own name mentioned many times.   
  
Why.  
  
**  
  
***I'm so tired of being here.  
  
Surpressed by all my childish fears.  
  
And if you have to leave,  
  
I wish that you would just leave.  
  
Cause your presence still lingers here,  
  
and it won't leave me alone.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal,  
  
this pain is just too real.  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase.  
  
When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
  
I've held your hand through all of these years.  
  
And you still have...all of me.  
  
You used to captivate me,  
  
by your resonating light.  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasent dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
......  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.  
  
And though you're still with me,  
  
I've been alone...  
  
all alone....***  
  
**  
  
Draco sat, curled up against the wall in the corner of the dormitory. Everyone else was away at classes, which he had been excused from for as long as he felt fit. He rocked, back and forth....back and forth. He could hear his father's voice in his ears....ringing.....louder....  
  
"Get the hell out of my face! You're nothing! You'll go nowhere! You put the name of Malfoy to shame!"  
  
Draco could still feel the tingle on his cheek where his father had hit him so many times...He remembered the last thing he'd said to him, and it made his heart fall, his lungs slam shut.  
  
"I hate you, Dad! I never want to see you again!"  
  
Draco pulled out his pocket knife, examining the blade as it glinted off the candle light...  
  
**  
  
**Nothing's gonna change the things that you said.  
  
Nothing's gonna make this right again.  
  
....  
  
I'm sorry I can't be perfect."  
  
**  
  
Pansy ran down the corridor, her footsteps echoing off the stone walls. Her breathing was heavy, her heart pounding. She remembered the professor's words... "We found him...in the dormitory...."  
  
She suddenly ran into something, falling backwards onto the ground. "Shit, Pansy," she heard a familiar voice say, seeing a hand being stuck out to her. Hermione Granger was standing above her, offering her her hand. Pansy got up on her own, glaring at her. "Out of my way, Granger." "I hear your little boyfriend went suicidal on you. Again." Hermione leaned against the wall, crossing her arms across her chest. "Fuck you." "Better find him before he slits his throat AND his wrists." Pansy whirled around and pulled out her wand, aiming it at Hermione. "Richta Sempra!" Hermione flew backwards, landing about 30 feet down the corridor on her back, moaning in pain. "You leave me the FUCK alone, Granger!" Pansy took off down the hallway again, her hair flying behind her.  
  
**  
  
Draco was standing in the corner of the room- a knife to his throat. His wrists were wrapped in a thin cloth, covering where the healing spell had been performed. Pansy stopped in the doorway, still breathing hard. "Draco." Her voice trembled. "Draco stop this right NOW." Draco shook his head. "Sorry, Pans. You can't save me this time. Not again."   
  
"Draco- put the knife down, now."  
  
"I'm sorry, I can't do that." He pressed it closer to his skin, his expression blank.  
  
Pansy walked towards him, holding her hand out.  
  
"Back the FUCK off, Pansy."  
  
"Give me the knife, Draco."  
  
"Screw this fucking life! I want to die!"  
  
Memories of the night came back to both of them. Draco was less then fazed, but Pansy walked closer, cautiously, with fear in her eyes.  
  
"Draco you've got to stop."  
  
He pressed it closer, and Pansy pulled out her wand.  
  
"Don't make me use this, Draco."  
  
He stood frozen. He lowered the knife, and walked towards her. She swallowed, and he smiled slyly at her. Pansy could feel his sanity flooding his mind with each step he took. He wasn't himself. He was...someone....someone bad. He came close enough to her that she could feel his warm breath on her face. His put his arms around her, pulling her into a rough kiss. She tried to fight him, tasting the alcohol in his mouth. He pulled away, but only centimeters away, their noses still touching. The cold blade of the knife grazed her throat as he pulled it across her skin, barely tuching her with it. The sly grin reminaed on his face as he said...  
  
"If I fall you're going down with me."  
  
~*~  
  
OMG how could i do this to pansy after all shes done?!?! and whats this with Hermione being some evil bitch?!? maybe you'll see why....soon....  
  
so, reviews yada yada, sorry its been so long, but i have been...um...preoccupied...  
  
i am scaring myself with this story. *grins slyly*  
  
but i love making my stories so.....complicated. *muhahahaha*  
  
::Song Credits::  
  
Evanescence- My Immortal  
  
Simple Plan- Perfect  
  
more soon  
  
sara   
  
PS: What's up with The Millie thing? you'll see...in time... 


	7. Losing Grip On Reality

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts   
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
...**Chapter 7**...  
  
"Draco...what's going on...?" He grinned slyly at her. "Oh, babe, can't you see?" He said, stepping away from her, dropping his arms to his sides, still clutching the knife. "It's this crazy thing called...love." He walked back over to her, pulling into his arms, kissing her roughly. She pushed him away, but he led onto her still. "Draco, stop, you're hurting me..." He squeezed her only tighter. "I can't ever lose you." He whispered in her ear, his warm breath on her neck. "You won't...I promise..." Pansy said softly, growing more and more nervous. "Draco don't do this again." She said, struggling in his tight hold. "Don't do this."  
  
He looked into her eyes, and Pansy could feel the sanity pouring from him. He wasn't being himeself, it was like someone had taken over his mind, sending him into some type of homicidal trance. "How can I know you won't leave me?" He said. "How can I be sure you won't go and die like everyone else I've loved?" He put the knife up to her throat again. "The only way you'll ever die is by me." He said, his voice strong and sure. "Whether it be by this knife- or the suffering I've put you through- you're going to die- and you're going to break your promise." He reached into her robes and pulled her wand away from her, throwing it across the floor. It hit the ground, clattering against the stone floor. Pansy swallowed, feeling the cold blade on her skin.   
  
Draco pushed her onto the floor, flipping the blade of the pocket knife back into place and putting it safely into his robes. "There's nothing left to let go of, Pans," he said, looking down at her. "Nothing left...but you." He walked out the room, leaving a fear-stricken Pansy laying confused on the stone floor.  
  
**  
  
The way her eyes were filled with fear- How could I have made the one person I have left feel such fear? I was locked inside my mind- the real me kicking and screaming from the inside, this invader taking over me. How could I hurt Pansy even more after I've already hurt her so much?  
  
**  
  
((The shadows dance along my walls, laughing at me.  
  
Their red eyes bore into me,  
  
pull me down.  
  
They whisper, they cry,  
  
they hurt.  
  
They are closing in on me-  
  
their fire burning into me.  
  
I'm burning in their eyes-  
  
bleeding from my unhealed wounds.  
  
Who is going to save me?  
  
Am I to die alone?))  
  
**  
  
Alone and hurt, Draco stared into the fireplace, turning over a small black book in his hands. His words of pain and hurt filled it's pages, and he looked down at it. He swallowed, feeling the pit of his stomach twist. He tossed the book into the fire, the flames dancing in the reflection of his pained eyes.  
  
~*~  
  
Short, but it tells alot...  
  
i'll update more soon...  
  
reviews!!!  
  
sara 


	8. It's Not Really Him

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts   
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
...**Chapter 8**...  
  
"He's bloody insane, he is," a Slytherin thrid year said to her friend. "He used to be such a little sex god- but now look at him. Wallowing around in his own little world." The other girl nodded, and Pansy glared at them as they walked past her. It hurt her to hear such things about Draco, but she knew it was all true. That's what hurt the most.   
  
The truth.  
  
**  
  
Draco walked alone in the hallway, his books by his side, holding them with one hand. He looked straight ahead, ignoring the stares and whispers. He saw a couple of girls pointing at him, trying to get a better look of his wrists. He just shoved his hand in his pocket and kept on walking. He knew what they all thought of him- and now, he didn't really care.  
  
Someone grabbed his arm and pulled him around a corner. He was face-to-face with Millie. "Look, Draco, I'm real sorry bout your father..." "Don't mention him, please." Draco said, slipping his arm around her waist. "You weren't planning on going to class....were you?" Millie said, raising an eyebrow at him. Draco gave her a sly smile and shook his head, before pulling her into a dark empty classroom and shutting the door.  
  
**  
  
Draco whipped Pansy around into his arms, smiling at her. "Hey, babe," he said, ignoring the irritated look on her face. "You got time for a little empty-classroom-meeting?" "Not with YOU," she said, pulling away from him. "Not after I saw you leaving one of your previous 'empty-classroom-meetings' with Millicent Bulstrode." "She isn't important. You are." "Important? I'm only important because you need someone to make miserable- someone to transfer all your fucking pain and misery to." "That's not true. I love you." "Love me, eh? That really explains all the times you've held a fucking knife to my throat threatening to kill me!" "I wasn't being me those days, Pans. I'm starting to realize how precious you are to me." "Precious? Leave me the hell alone." "I need you, Pansy." "You're obviously doing better- why would you need someone to hold your hand now that you're alright again?" "Pansy..." "Just leave me alone!"  
  
**  
  
Pansy awoke, shivering. A warm breath on her neck. Too terrified to make a sound, she laid still. "Don't scream, precious, I'm here." Lips on her skin. Pansy whirled over onto her side, her eyes meeting with Draco's. The curtains on the bed were closed, blocking out the moonlight. Pansy tried to scream, but he clasped a hand over her mouth. He gently tucked her hair behind her ear, gazing into her eyes. "Don't be afraid, Pans..."  
  
**  
  
Hermione Granger was walking by the hospital wing when she saw Pansy Parkinson emerging from it's open doors. Hermione smirked and walked up to her. "Your little boyfriend in there again?" Pansy glared at her. "Or, wait, no, have YOU gone psycho now too?" Pansy stood- silently screaming. "Ha. I hear slitting your wrists is really fun. Maybe we should have a psycho party for you and Malfoy- a slitting your wrists party!" Pansy reached out and hit Hermione, sending her to the floor. "You'd think you woulda learned the first time, Granger, you dumb fuck."  
  
**  
  
Pansy bumped into Harry Potter in the hallway. Her hand flew up to her arm, clutching it in pain. "I didn't hit you THAT hard, did I?" Potter said, feeling guilty. "No...it's just a bruise I have there..." "From what?" Pansy glared at him. "None of your buisness, Potter." Pansy stormed away, rubbing her arm.  
  
He wasn't himself. Schitzophrenia is what the muggles call it. Two sides- one that I fear so much I shudder to think of it. He turns into this "other person" when he gets angry- or sometimes- randomly. You never know when his alter-ego will strike. He was in my bed- whispering things. Not Draco. It wasn't him. It was someone else. Someone had taken over his mind. He....he did so many hurtful things....I...don't even know how to begin. It began with the rough kissing- enough to make it hurt- I could barely breathe. Then it was the shoving and the hitting. But then came the stripping....and the hurting. He violated me- he violated me so much I will never recover. Ah, Merlin, what am I gonna do?  
  
~*~  
  
Short, but i HAD to update.  
  
so...draco...err....raped pansy?  
  
......  
  
sara 


	9. Reflections Of Hate

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts   
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
Pansy watched in horror as they carried the body away, a pale hand falling limp from under the sheet. Draco was standing against the wall in the shadows of the library, watching with no emotion. A few girls were crying, huddled together, holding each other. Some boys talked quietly amongst themselves, their voices barely whispers. Pansy turned around and glared at Draco, tears in her eyes. His expression remained blank and emotionless as he looked back at her. She had such a weight on her heart- some kind of sixth sense that he had something to do with the second year's death. A smart 12-year-old girl doesn't just accidently stab herself to death.   
  
**  
  
***When I pretend  
  
Everything is what I want it to be.  
  
I look exactly like you had always  
  
wanted to see.  
  
When I pretend  
  
I can forget about the criminal I am  
  
Stealing second after second  
  
Just cause I know I can.  
  
But I can't pretend this is the way  
  
It will stay  
  
I'm just trying to bend the truth  
  
I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be  
  
So I'm lying my way from you....***  
  
Draco came up behind Pansy in the common room, caressing her neck with his cold hands. She gasped and whirled around, terror in her eyes. "Draco, get away from me." He remained silent, his gaze filled with lust. He raised his eyebrow at her, a sick smile coming across his face.  
  
***This isn't what I wanted to be.  
  
I never thought that what I said   
  
would have you running from me....  
  
The very worst part of you...  
  
is me.***  
  
"She was alone in the library," Draco said, ignoring the terror splashed across Pansy's face. Her wrists had been tied, a muting spell cast upon her. "Reading. It was late at night. I was wondering the halls, not barely even knowing what I was doing. Then I saw her- sitting there all alone- so vunerable. My mind took another form- some kind of evil wanting her- I walked into the library. She looked so scared and innocent- but it made me want her more. So I took her. I made her do my biddings before I pulled out the knife and shoved it in her ugly heart. I saw my face- my reflection- and I didn't like it. When I saw her eyes- and I saw myself looking back at me in the reflection- I only wanted death upon this person who would reflect such...hate." He paused, leaning down close to her, his breath on her face. "Blood was everywhere. But I was no where." He kissed her, his soft lips caressing her trembling ones. He pulled away again, looking deeply into her eyes. "I see it in your eyes, too. I see my reflection, reflecting back so much....wrong. I just want it to stop. But the more I look at you- the deeper I fall. Into myself." A knife shined in his hand. "I don't want to see you suffer anymore, Pansy. And I always told you....  
  
You'd die by me."  
  
**  
  
***When this began  
  
I had nothing to say  
  
And I'd get lost in the emptiness inside of me  
  
I was confused  
  
And I let it all out to find  
  
I'm not the only person with all these things in my mind...  
  
inside of me.  
  
But all the vacancy, the words revealed  
  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel.  
  
Nothing to lose.  
  
Just stuck.  
  
Hollow and alone...  
  
and the fault is my own.***  
  
~*~  
  
So now Draco's alter-ego killed someone?!  
  
sorry about the shortness....  
  
::Song Credits::  
  
Linkin Park- Lying From You (first two *** ___*** was this)  
  
Linkin Park- Somewhere I Belong (last one)  
  
more soon...  
  
sara 


	10. Fearing You, Loving You

::A/N::  
  
________ =Flashbacks/thoughts   
  
(( ____ ))=Diary/Journal entries or just things one of them wrote **FYI: I wrote all of the poems, ect so please ask before you take and give me credit cuz copyin and pastin dont take skill.... **  
  
*** _____ ***=Song lyrics- look at the song credits at the end of each chapter....  
  
disclaimer: I don't own the HP series, yada yada...  
  
Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
Thanks to:  
  
TwistedChild- thankies!  
  
Daisie- my wonderful reviewer who reviews all my fics- i heart you!  
  
February- :) :)  
  
Taintless- wow! thanks! check out my other fics too, i think you'd like em!  
  
the hope conspiracy- yes, evanescence rocks! (well, duh, or else i wouldnt use them in like ALL MY FICS lol)  
  
Thanks to all my reviewers!!  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
Pansy awoke, her head pounding. A professor had found her in the common room- half dead.  
  
Scars traced up and down her arms, where he had....hurt her.  
  
The memories pained her.  
  
At that moment-  
  
she wanted to die.  
  
**  
  
"Mr. Malfoy has been sent home, Miss. Parkinson. No need to worry anymore."  
  
"Home? He hasn't got a home. His parents are both dead."  
  
"He was sent to live with his aunt and uncle, and we found him help. Things will be okay now."  
  
"No, Professor....no, they won't."  
  
Pansy turned and left Dumbledore's office, holding back tears.  
  
She hated him. She wished him dead for all the horrible things he'd done to her.  
  
And yet...  
  
she loved him. She missed him. She wanted him more then anything.  
  
**  
  
That morning at breakfast, the post came in- owls screeching overhead, dropping letters to students around the Great Hall. A letter fell into Pansy's hands- and she examined it. Familiar writing. Could it be.....?  
  
"You're the only one I want.  
  
You're the only one I love.  
  
I'll find a way back to you.  
  
I promise you this.  
  
Don't you scream, precious...  
  
I'll be there soon."  
  
**  
  
((I'm terrified. I'm so scared. He's gonna find me. I can't hide. He'll find me....and he'll hurt me again. There's no way out. He'll hunt me down.))  
  
***Watching me, wanting me-  
  
I can feel you pull me down...  
  
Fearing you, loving you-  
  
I won't let you pull me down.  
  
*  
  
Hunting you- I can smell you- alive.  
  
Your heart pounding in my head.  
  
*  
  
Watching me, wanting me-  
  
I can feel you pull me down.  
  
Saving me, raping me-  
  
I won't let you pull me down......***  
  
**  
  
The wind stabbed Pansy in the back- stinging her like a thousand knives. The darkness engulfed her- silence. A whisper. A breath on her neck. She ran. Tears streamed from her face- too scared to make a sound. She fell- hitting the cold, hard ground with a thud. Another whisper. Her name. "Precious....I'm here...."  
  
Pansy let out a shrill scream.  
  
"Pansy...Pansy...."  
  
Pansy screamed again, tears still falling from her eyes...  
  
"Pansy. Pansy! Pansy wake up! Pansy it was only a nightmare- it's okay!"  
  
Pansy's eyes snapped open, looking up into the faces of the other girls in her dormitory. Millicent Bulstrode was standing overtop of her, looking worried. Pansy glared at her. "Get away from me...."  
  
"Pansy...are you alright?"  
  
"Get away from me!" Pansy screamed, sitting up.  
  
Millie back slowly away from her bed, the other girls all getting back into their own beds.  
  
"Leave me alone."  
  
Pansy pulled the bed curtains closed, blocking Millie away.   
  
She turned back to her bed, laying back down and covering her head with the blanket.  
  
Kill me, now.  
  
**  
  
Pansy walked into the dormitory, looking around. Everyone else was at dinner. She stopped dead in her tracks. Why were her bed curtains closed? She had opened them before she'd left that morning. She set her books down on the small table by the door, approaching her bed slowly and cautiously. She pulled back the bed curtains- her heart catching in her throat,  
  
A note sat there.  
  
"My precious....  
  
I'm here."  
  
A breath. On her neck.  
  
~*~  
  
......  
  
more soon.  
  
sara 


	11. Until Forever

Fic Info:  
  
Title: Whispers of Suicide  
  
Rating: R for violence, gore, suicide, drug use, heavy language, some sexual situations  
  
Summary:  
  
Draco is struggling with his life- his suicide attempts getting worse and worse...  
  
Pansy is fighting with her all to keep him alive, but he is slowly dragging her down with him...  
  
Other Info:  
  
Told in different POVs, each time ** is put between text, the POV changes. Contains things like letters, diary entries, song lyrics, and the occasional "Daily Prophet" article. Told in a very interesting and capturing way....  
  
Thanks again Daisie!!!  
  
******************************************************************************************************  
  
A shrill scream echoed across the walls of Slytherin tower.  
  
Draco's stare bore into Pansy, her body shaking with sheer terror. He'd found her.  
  
**  
  
"Draco! Get your hands off me!"   
  
Draco threw Pansy onto the bed, staring down at her as she lay there, shaking with fear.   
  
"Please. N-no." She sputtered. "D-Dray...Draco..."  
  
He just stared into her eyes, not saying a word.  
  
"I-I love you....Draco, I love you."  
  
**  
  
Fellow students watched in horror as they watched the men carry the bodies away. Sheets covered them- although a pale hand fell limp from under it. A sparkling diamond ring was on one of it's fingers, glittering in the firelight. None of the other students with their naked eyes could see the engraving on it....  
  
*In You There Is Life*  
  
...  
  
As the school wept...no one could piece the broken parts of this star-crossed love back into place.  
  
...  
  
-- For never was a story of more woe.....than this of Juliet and her Romeo. --  
  
((In a wilted rose, you found my life-  
  
all of it's pouring red tears-  
  
each of it's broken pieces.  
  
In a box, hidden beneath the sea,  
  
is the treasure of the gifts that you have given me.  
  
No love is greater then that of my love-  
  
your love, that is which fills the depths of my soul.  
  
To have taken your life in my arms,  
  
to have felt the pain for me-  
  
you'd hidden it so long.  
  
But now you're here, like a broken crystal mended-  
  
you fall into my heart-  
  
just like your love that's never ending.  
  
Your laughter echoes across the Milky Way,  
  
where our heart dance forever more.  
  
Your smile reflects over the mirror of the clouds,  
  
Just as happy as it had been before.  
  
The memory of your smiling face,  
  
holds together the pieces of my broken heart-  
  
and never shall it perish-  
  
until our two hearts are broken apart.  
  
Until forever....  
  
I am yours.))  
  
~*~  
  
I hope to clear alot of tears away, as well as confusion, with the next chapter, this chapter seemed so ending-like, i know, and thats what i was aiming at. for whoever understood exactly what happened her- good job! i heart you.  
  
But I was feeling especially depressed today, so...this is what resulted in that.  
  
I hope you enjoyed my mile long poem.  
  
i love you all  
  
sara 


	12. My Last Breath

What I leave you with.....  
  
***************************************************  
  
((In the whispering laughter of your once forgotten life- grows the heart of the darkness- you've held too long inside.))  
  
"They found this...along with them."  
  
Pansy's mother took the piece of parchment from the investigator, her eyes scanning the words...  
  
"In death no love shall ever part- so we've perished at our own hands- in hopes to never leave each other's hearts.  
  
In our own selfish act- we left this world behind- forgetting of the pain and suffering it may cause the ones we left.  
  
But in our memory, there lies a stint of hope. And despite the lingering loneliness....  
  
We'll never really be gone."  
  
Mrs. Parkinson swallowed back tears.  
  
Her daughter.  
  
Was gone.  
  
**  
  
Rose petals floated along the breeze, the song of the sorrowful wind carrying them away, along with the muffled sounds of the tearing on lookers that had gathered to pay their final respects. The two had never severed- never lost their hidden love.   
  
"Let this be a message to all of you," the speaker said, gesutring towards the two caskets that lay beside him. "In death, you do not find relief- or the answers to every earthly question. The eternal question that many of you now are probably asking yourselves is why. Why did two young hearts such as these that we say goodbye to today feel the need to end such unlived lives? Why must we have to say goodbye...when it is merely the beginning? In life, my friends, there are answers. In death, there is merely death...and the shadows of unlived life."  
  
-----The lady sleeps: the dead all sleep —   
  
At least as long as Love doth weep:   
  
Entranc'd, the spirit loves to lie   
  
As long as — tears on Memory's eye:   
  
But when a week or two go by,   
  
And the light laughter chokes the sigh,   
  
Indignant from the tomb doth take   
  
Its way to some remember'd lake,   
  
Where oft — in life — with friends — it went   
  
To bathe in the pure element,   
  
And there, from the untrodden grass,   
  
Wreathing for its transparent brow   
  
Those flowers that say (ah hear them now!)   
  
To the night-winds as they pass,   
  
"Ai ! ai ! alas ! — alas!"   
  
Pores for a moment, ere it go,   
  
On the clear waters there that flow,   
  
Then sinks within (weigh'd down by wo)   
  
Th' uncertain, shadowy heaven below. -----  
  
((In life, we may perish in the chances we don't take. But in death, we may perish in the shadows of the unlived life that linger upon us.))  
  
~*~  
  
*close curtain*  
  
abrupt ending.  
  
thats exactly what i wanted.  
  
::Credits::  
  
Poem at the end:  
  
taken from "Irene" by E.A.Poe  
  
((May you all find answers in what I have told you in this story of lost hope. May you all find hope in the hopelessness of it all. May you all find your way if you are in need of a guiding hand- and let this be a message to you all- that in death....there are not answers, but only more questions to be asked.))  
  
The End 


End file.
